As I'm filling it out I came to the medical questioner form. The typical questions are there-heart attack, high cholesterol, diabetes, stroke, cancer, etc... I froze. For the 1st time I had to mark "stroke", then in the 'other' I had to write in 'vertebral artery dissection'. It hit me hard and I realized that for the rest of my life EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I fill out a medical questioner I'll have to mark "stroke" and "vertebral artery dissection".
EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Sadly these marks are going to go against me for the rest of my life. I doubt my life insurance will renew my policy when it expires. Thankfully health insurance can't deny me coverage, because they could for this.
EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Then I came to the page to fill in all my medicines. Up until 6 months ago I only took vitamins. Then I added 2 medicines, and since February 6th I've added another 9 medicines. (I've since been able to stop taking 2 of them.) I looked and saw 'stroke' marked and a table covered in medicines and it made me sad, and mad.
Some of my medicines could be lifetime medicines. Yes I know I should be greatful to be alive and be able to take them. I know that. I know others take more medicines. Lots more. I know I'm lucky. I know this could have turned out worse. Way worse. But it's still hard. And I have to learn to live with having to possibly take medicines for this for the rest of my life. Every time I take them I have to be reminded about why I have to take them. Doesn't sound very fun to me.
As I'm slowly getting back into our routine every day life, I'm starting to see the permanent changes that won't or can't go away because of what happened. It's making me feel frustrated and not forgiving towards the chiropractor. I'm trying to let it go and stay forgiving, but it's getting harder. I know it's not Christlike of me to not be forgiving. I'm just not there right now. I pray to get back to that some day.
EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
No comments:
Post a Comment