This morning I wrote to the carpool group for Corrine's band that I might not be able to drive for the rest of the year. Yesterday I emailed teachers to let them know that I wasn't going to be able to make it to parent teacher conferences this week after all. I've started accepting that I'm not go to be all the way back to my "new normal" when it's been the magical 1 month post stroke.
In the beginning I thought 'give it 2 weeks and I can drive again and in a month I'll be independent again and life will move on'. Oh how naive I was. Now I know that it's going to take much longer then a month to recover. I'm feeling so much stronger and steady on my feet already, but I still have a long way to go.
I've finally been able to put into words how my right leg feels. It feels longer then my left leg. It's not longer, never has been, but it feels that way. My physical therapist says everyone feels things differently and it's probably because before when I walked it was so automatic, and now I have to think about it. I also don't know where the right side of my body is in space still.
At lunch the milk jug was almost empty so I figured it was good therapy to pour some into a glass for Ammon. I couldn't get my hand to do it. It froze before I could turn the jug and get the milk to come out. I needed to have my left hand help turn it more. It's things like this that frustrate me. It's all the little things I can't do anymore that I took for granted before.
Our bodies are pretty darn amazing and can do so much. Mine just needs to relearn some connections to make everyday things easy to do.
I'm very lucky my stroke didn't leave me with huge gaps in my functioning but it's still left me with things to relearn. Coordination and independence being the 2 biggest.
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