Day 11-Life sucks today

I've suddenly become a morning person. Maybe because I nap during the day.
I went to Physical Therapy today. It wore me out. My energy level is so low compared to just 11 days ago.
Today has been hard for me. I'm frustrated and angry. I want to scream: "WHY ME?????? Why at 34 years old did I have to have an artery to my brain tear and give me strokes in 2 different areas. WHY ME??? I have 4 kids at home that need me and I can't do anything. WHY ME?????? Haven't we had enough happen to us?? I can't make them food, I can't walk them to school. I can't drive. I can't even be alone for crying out loud! WHY ME?????"
I've been trying to find the blessings and lessons learned and the silver linings in this trial and right now I can't and I just want to stop trying. It's only been 11 days, and yet it's been 11 long days. 11 days of this hell I'm now living. 11 days of not being able to do anything. 11 days for a mother of 4 not being able to do anything is torture, it's not a relaxing break.
The kids are struggling. People are struggling with our kids. Everything is different and everyone is struggling. I just made Rebecca cry. It's horrible.
And there is no end date. No magical date that it's all going to heal and get better and life can move forward on it's own. I'm scared to go down the stairs so the basement is off limits. That's where toys, laundry, my exercise bike and scrapbooks are. Driving is months off. And who knows if I'll even be able to do that then. Life isn't what I thought it would be. Right now life royally sucks.
My physical struggles are: my right pinky, ring finger and middle finger don't work when I want them to. (They work automatically most of the time though. I say they're along for the ride right now.) My right leg feels strange and weak when I walk. My mouth feels slow and uncoordinated when I eat bigger bites and unless I have to really go to the bathroom, my muscles don't want to work. My balance is off, but not terribly. I get overwhelmed and tired very quickly, and I get headaches and neckaches very easily. A muscle above my right knee keeps spasming too.